From the Peep on the Street

(I was searching online for something and read this. Thought it was hilarious. Two thumbs up to Andy wherever you are...)

THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR... but first I needed to get some Flip Flops and clean underwear. Mom always says "Don't get caught in the Apocalypse with dirty underwear." So I hit my neighborhood Target.

You know Target has really come along way since I was a kid. I remember when it was un-cool to go to Target, we called it" La Tarshea`" (misspelled) so that it would sound fancy and okay that we shopped there because it was funny. But now you can hold your head high as you walk past the guy begging for money and say "Not today lad, ever since George Bush has been in office I can barely afford my Flip Flops and clean underwear."As I made my way past the concession stand that sells Icee's, Super Pretzels and what has to be some of the best Pop-Corn ever made.

I noticed the Easter section, now I don't have kids and I'm Catholic so I'm not religious, but I do know a little about what Easter is all about. As I stood there looking at all the candy, stuffed animals and other crap. I wondered when did NASCAR have anything to do with the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, I actually picked up this huge can full of all kinds of goodies and toys. On the side of this tin-can was a picture from number 88 Dale Earnhardt Jr. giving a big thumbs up, didn't his father get killed racing. I never hear about him rising from the dead three days later. I can understand hiding the eggs, getting all dressed up and eating a great meal; it makes up for sitting in church for two hours and having your Catholic guilt rejuvenated.... I'm kidding... I don't go to church. I'm kidding, no I'm not.... Yes I am. But really, Jesus didn't die on the cross so that we would buy commercialized junk with "High School Musical" on it.

So I picked up the Bible and found that I was wrong and from the Book of Hershey's I found this passage:

And Jesus looked down from the cross and saw his mother the Virgin Mary holding a brightly colored basket, "Mother come forth and give me a Peep? Mary reached into the basket and pushed aside the plastic green grass and pulled out a chocolate rabbit, "Forgive me son for I have eaten the last Peep, it's been a bad day and you know I'm a nervous eater, but I give upon you my last chocolate covered peanut butter bunny. Jesus then twitched his nose and said "Look again mother, look into the basket and tell me what you have found." In the "Bratz" themed basket, Mary found not one Peep, but many Peeps. "TA-DA!" Jesus went on to say. "On this day I say unto you, do not eat all the Peeps in one sitting for they will surly make your stomach hurt." "Okay." Mary said; but Jesus could not understand her for her mouth was full of the yellow sugar covered marshmallow treat. Amen!

Now you know why Catholics' use Peeps in the Communion ceremony.

I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way; I won't go as far as to boycott Target because it's still pretty close to the house and they do have some pretty good sales on Flip Flops and clean underwear.

Happy Easter.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/target-store-dallas (Thanks Andy v.funny)